Testimonial of an inmate from a prison in southern Israel

The weekly hour I spend with the volunteer gives me a very useful tool for the duration of my imprisonment. A tool for balancing the pressures, the sensations and the very active thoughts that bubble up inside me while I’m here. Every day at sunrise I practice what we have learned in the weekly meeting. Implementing the lesson gives me a space where I can stay present in reality, and have an “armor of quietude” that has become my real breakfast in this place. The workshop really helps with self-control, which the lack of was a very dominant factor in what brought me here. It will also prevent me from returning here and help me go back to living a normative life.

Testimonial of an inamte from a prison in central Israel

I’m happy about the meditation, because it’s something real that connects me to my thoughts, emotions, and sensations that are actually my whole world. It also develops my self-awareness when thinking, talking, and acting. Last week I had a difficult challenge with anger. There was an argument with a certain person who made it all about my personality and publicly insulted me, and I noticed that I was angry. I controlled myself and did not react out of the anger. This is deeply connected to the lesson we had learned, about how I can notice a hole in the ground and instead of falling into it as usual, just pass it by. In conclusion: it’s an amazing tool.

Testimonial of an inmate from a prison in central Israel

In my first mediation group sessions I was skeptical. I was too focused on myself and the non-stop thoughts prevented me from opening up to the group. The fact that I am a rational person also played a role. I couldn’t accept the idea that breathing can help my emotional state and my ability to calm my nagging thoughts about the future and how bad my situation was. I slowly tried to open up to the group. I told myself that I might as well try, now that I’m here. Initially the effects were minor during class, the thoughts were calmer and I succeeded in clearing my head. Slowly the calming of my mind increased until I achieved the point that by the end of the group session the nagging thoughts were gone, I reached a level of calm and could disconnect myself and concentrate only on the here and now, through my breathing and calmness.

Testimonial of an inmate from a prison in Jerusalem

My wife came to visit after we hadn’t seen each other for a long time. She brought some food and refreshments. I looked forward to her visit, but from the outset she said something that made my blood boil. I knew that the visit had ended before it had begun. Then I remembered to breathe three breaths and I inhaled and exhaled a few times. Everything changed. I did not lose my temper and we conversed nicely. It was a very good visit.

Testimonial of an inmate from a prison in central Israel

Saliman has been serving time for 20 years already. He recalled that while on leave he had taken a taxi ride with driver who was constantly annoyed due to traffic jams and being late. Saliman smiled and tried to persuade the driver that there is no point in getting angry and that he should calm down. The driver retorted, “what good will it do if I calm down, is it going to unclog the traffic jam?” Saliman replied, “no, the traffic congestion will not loosen, but perhaps the blockage inside you will”. Saliman did manage to soothe the driver, and the driver started looking for other options to solve his problem of being late to pick up another customer. The driver was surprised by how an inmate had managed to help him. Saliman felt that this was the only workshop (and he participated in many throughout his 20 years in prison) that dealt with stress by stopping rather than doing.

Testimonial of an inmate from a prison in central Israel

Meditation means seeing and knowing how we think. And if we can see our thoughts, it can bring us relief. We always think about the past, about the present, and about the future, and that way we create feelings of happiness or sadness. It’s important for us to be able to sit down or stop sometimes to see how we think. Because the thought leads to a verbal or physical reaction that can be gentle or aggressive. Our reaction is usually directed towards the people around us: family, friends, society in general – the “outside world.”

Our thoughts lead to a reaction to ourselves. My thoughts may leave me irritated and suffering or they may leave me happy and wanting more. But I know that they’re only thoughts, and that I may have concocted a story that isn’t even true – my own invention, while the real story is completely different. If we practice meditation in our daily life, then to start to see how we think and not judge things as good or bad or assign grades.

As for our reaction – we can think about it from two angles and consider the outcome before we react. Then we can choose the proper and logical reaction. One possible reaction is not to use good and bad, but instead see what makes me and those around me happy rather than unhappy. It’s only natural that we suffer sometimes. But when we accept the suffering too, then at least it makes it easier.

Testimonial of an inmate from prison in central Israel

For me, meditation means a chance to observe mymind. I notice things that I’d never noticed before. For example, the way that my thoughts are sometimes stormier before I meditate. Over time I’ve realized that I’m just becoming more aware of the noise that has always been there in my thoughts. I see that my thoughts are intrusive and repetitive, even when I try to become more aware of my breathing and more connected to the moment. It’s like they’re managing and controlling me, unless I’m aware that it’s only thoughts and that they don’t define who I am.

I’ve learned that whether I cling to what is good or reject what I perceive and experience as bad, it causes me more suffering. And since everything in the world is temporary and transient, neither good nor bad, it will not stay fixed. My entire life I planned to create a reality that would give me the security I wanted as soon as I touched it. Today I know that the hope that reality will be different from here on out, and that the “new” reality will give me a sense of happiness and joy, is an illusion. It only brings tension, anxiety, fear, and discomfort. Today I’m practicing how to be calmer in the face of any reality, whatever it may be. Today I know that I can’t remove the sting of suffering from my private experience of this life – but I can decide how miserable I’m going to be.

I’ve been exposed to the reality that my thoughts are unforgiving towards myself. On the contrary – I have a tendency to be too hard on myself, to judge myself and my thoughts. I often have “you should…” kind of thoughts. I wasn’t aware of the content of my thoughts before, and how they show that I don’t appreciate myself or love myself – so how can I love others or see others? Not to mention the fact that these “should” thoughts are also directed at other people – as if my way is the only way in the world; as if I’m the center of the world. So from this new place I can also see other people’s suffering more, even people who are complete strangers to me. So it stimulates compassion in me towards myself and towards others.

Testimonial of an inmate from a prison in northern Israel

Meditation gave me a great deal: calmness, self-confidence, being sure of my abilities, and tolerance towards those around me. That’s something really important in prison.
Whenever I feel tense or scared or emotionally stressed – I sit on my bed, close my eyes, and meditate.

I look for the little things that are wrong with me, like a hole in a shirt, and whenever I find a hole that’s preventing me from living in peace with my surroundings, I “sew it up” and move on.
A human’s personality includes not only their qualities but also their thoughts. When my thoughts are under control, I can correct them.
I change my personality and I keep on moving closer towards happiness. People have known for ages that human mistakes begin with our thoughts. We express our thoughts in words and then, sadly, the thoughts get expressed in actions. For over a year I’ve been practicing self-reflection in prison – “meditation,” as we call it.
The tool you need for reflection is patience.
I look at myself, develop myself, and try to be proud of myself.

Testimonial of an inmate from a prison in southern Israel

I have been taking the meditation course for 8 months. I am 55 years old and am at the “cardiac room”.
It was the first time in my life I had heard the word “meditation” and at the beginning I could not relate to it at all. After four meetings I approached the instructor and told her I got nothing from these sessions, and she in turn explained that it was a process. Indeed, after listening to her and doing what really needed to be done, I gradually started feeling better. I have become more patient toward myself, and understood how to pay more attention to myself. I started looking forward to the next meeting more and more.

At the beginning, I was satisfied whenever the teacher did not show up for the meeting and put it off until the next week.
When I started getting the idea of meditation and the instructor did not turn up I was terribly upset.
Through meditation I learned to pay heed to everything about me, and I started doing that every day.
I began with shaving, taking notice of my shaving more, and then I started payin more attention to the way I walked, my speech, and have become more in touch with myself, which gave me an opportunity to better relate to my environment. It enabled me to discover positive capabilities within myself. The more I found out good things about myself the better I treated my friends. I recommend to others to not refrain from doing things and feeling things, it is the biggest pleasure out there to be able to feel things.

Testimonial of an inmate from a prison in southern Israel

To all prisoners whoever they may be.
I am a prisoner incarcerated at “Hasharon” penitentiary and I want to tell you about an instrument that helps me personally, giving me a sense of relief and freedom at the place where I currently am, exactly the same way as you – in prison. The tool in question is meditation, and if it has been working for me, there is no reason for it not to work for you as well.